Archives for posts with tag: gratitude

Today I just want to say thanks.  I’m doing a lot of work on feeling more gratitude. It’s difficult, because my default mode these days is just to feel stress and overwhelm.

So thank you. Thank you for reading. I started writing here with a firm promise not to mask any of my insecurities, and you’re still here. I feel truly grateful for that.

I’m doing a real push in my career right now – trying to make connections with the casting teams of the new wave of queer-themed tv shows, and it’s incredibly scary. But I’m getting better at putting myself out there, in part because I know I can always come back here and decompress in a safe space. Once upon a time I had a friend who started blogging, and she got some feedback from her readers that she was whining too much and suchlike. I know the trolls are out there, but I think particularly in light of the digital alienation that walks hand in hand with our over-connectedness, we need to take the time to create these kind of safe arenas.

So thanks again for letting me vent, and be insecure, and write about my fears, and write about dumb things like clothes and weight, and not dumb things like my life and my dream to actually do what I love for a living.  Thanks for caring enough to read the public diary of a shy/pretty butch somewhere out in the wasteland of LA.

 

1. caramel milkshakes.

2. the first time you get to touch the back of your crush’s neck. possibly with your lips.

3. how music can transport you out of time. right now, chris pureka’s driving north is taking me back to the frozen vermont highway where i first heard it, and the girl who was driving the car.

4. a bartender (or a coffee shop barista) who knows you and your drink, and taps it for you when you walk in the door. dear Logger Bar: I miss you.

5. the feeling of accomplishment that inflates you when your gf gets seconds of the meal you’ve cooked.

6. watching dogs play with abandon, and the reminder to let go.

7. heavy rainstorms in LA. yes, they do happen.

8. redwood forests. if you haven’t been, put that on your bucket list. trust me.

9. the way a perfectly tailored shirt makes me feel like i have ripped muscles, even in places where i don’t.

10. seeing a live performance. watching the creation of art in person can never be replaced, whether it’s theater or music or watching those guys who do spray paint space pictures on the ground for tourists.

 

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